Mission:

The retreats and monthly gatherings of Healing Your Soul emanate from Dr. DiPaolo’s Contemplative Internal Family Systems (C-IFS) model and ministry. The model integrates the wisdom of contemplative spirituality with the psychological approach of Internal Family Systems (IFS). The ministry seeks to help fellow travelers on the journey who seek growth, healing, and a greater connection with God.

(Scroll down to see a video overview of the model, the 2024 Monthly Gatherings Calendar and audio recordings of the guided meditations, and the 2023 Monthly Gathering audio recordings of the guided meditations.)

Understanding the Model for Healing Your Soul

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a transformative, evidence-based psychotherapy that helps people heal by accessing and loving their protective and wounded inner parts. We believe the mind is naturally multiple, and that is a good thing. Just like members of a family, inner parts are forced from their valuable states into extreme roles within us. We also all have a core Self, which is Imago Dei – made in the image and likeness of God. Self is in everyone. It can’t be damaged. It knows how to heal. By helping people first access their Self and connect with God, then come to understand and heal their parts from that core, IFS creates inner and outer connectedness.

Through this work, you will have the opportunity to get to know your internal family of parts. You’ll be invited to slow down and cultivate the capacity to be emotionally present to even the most vulnerable of parts within you. As the Apostle Paul tells us, “The parts of the body that seem to be weaker are the ones we can’t do without. The parts that we think are less important we treat with special honor.” (Romans 12: 22-23).

Why do we need Healing Your Soul?

It is often said that you are your own worst critic.  Too often, you’ve been told that you have flaws, negative qualities, or characteristics that you have to get rid of to be healthy or have the type of life that you want. So you try and try, and while sometimes you may avoid or suppress them, they remain a part of you. Perhaps you even seek psychotherapy to support you in these efforts, and they still persist. You then feel worse and carry the shame of not getting over what you think you should be able to do.  Self-criticism further compounds the problem.

The Contemplative IFS model turns this idea on its head. You are invited to embrace the parts of you that have these qualities, not get rid of them. Let me be clear, I am not suggesting that you like the damaging behaviors that these parts do. Rather it is getting to know and understand why the part of you engages in those behaviors that provide the trailhead toward healing.

Confusing? Let me offer a simple example.  It is 5:30 in the evening, and you see your 5-year-old son reaching his hand into the cookie jar – mind you, this is 15 minutes after you’ve told him dinner is soon and that he cannot have a snack.

Scenario 1: In your frustration from an already overworked day, you lash out, “Bad boy!  I told you you couldn’t have a snack! What are you stupid? Why don’t you listen to me? Go to your room!”
Scenario 2: You remain calm amidst the understandable frustration and say something in a lighter tone like, “Caught you, Bobby. I see you are really hungry and understand that you don’t want to wait until dinner, even if it means disobeying what I asked you to do. Come here; help me set the table and tell me why you had your hand in the cookie jar.”

We may cringe at the thought of responding like in the first scenario, but don’t we talk to ourselves in that very same way? With responses that instill shame and provide no opportunity for repair?  What if we could talk to ourselves more like the second scenario – from a core message of love while being clear about boundaries around the behavior?  This is the pathway espoused by Contemplative IFS, a challenging yet rewarding pathway that was modeled perfectly by Jesus.

Watch this video for an overview of Healing Your Soul (12 minutes):
You can also click here to view the video on my YouTube channel: @drmichaeld

For more information and resources about IFS, please see my “What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?” page.

2024 Calendar of Monthly Gatherings:

The Healing Your Soul Monthly Gatherings are a sacred space where you will learn a profoundly new way to relate with your inner world as you get to know and invite compassion toward every part of you, including those that are weary and burdened.  They are held on the second Wednesday of the month at 7:00 in the Spirituality Center (except for February which will move to the third Wednesday).

In 2024 we will utilize Altogether You, Jenna Riemersma’s book integrating Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Christianity.  We will work through the book over the course of the year, while maintaining each evening as a standalone presentation. I encourage all of you to purchase this wonderful book! Click here to be taken to Amazon.

The following is the calendar for 2024.  After each gathering, the guided meditation from that evening will be uploaded.

History

Healing Your Soul began with a retreat in October of 2022 which was repeated in April 2023.  Inspired by the positive feedback, Monthly Gatherings were launched in June 2023 and are held on the second Wednesday of the month, at 7:00, in the Spirituality Center at St. Monica Catholic Community in Santa Monica.

For more information and to register for any event, please click here to be taken to the Spirituality Center at St. Monica webpage

Retreats

Healing Your Soul retreats are a full-day opportunity to get away and nourish your soul.  You will receive a full overview of the Contemplative IFS model. You will learn and experience your Core Self and your internal family of parts: Exiles, Managers, and Firefighters. You will also be led through a three-step contemplative healing process which will invite you to turn toward, be with, and invite love to a burden that you are carrying.

Retreats will include presentations, meditations, and time for personal reflection and discussion. There are fees for retreats, however, nobody is turned away because of cost. Please let us know if you are in need of financial assistance.

Monthly Gatherings

Monthly gatherings provide ongoing opportunities to do the all-important work of nourishing your soul and are offered every 2nd Wednesday of the month at 7:00 in the Spirituality Center at St. Monica. Each gathering will explore one area in greater depth through presentation, guided meditation, time for personal reflection, and discussion.

All are welcome, whether you’ve attended a previous retreat or not. Each evening will be a standalone event designed to help us continue the ongoing work in which we seek growth, healing and connection to God.

This ministry is offered as a service to our community. There is no fee to attend; donations are welcome to support the work.  The suggested donation is $10-20; no amount is too small or too large.

2023 Monthly Gatherings & Audio Recordings of the Guided Meditations

Wednesday, June 14, 2023 (Launch Event)

“Living from Our Core Self”

For our first gathering, we will focus on the core of this work – connecting with our Core Self.  The Core Self is the essence of who you are, it is the space within where you connect with God. We will explore its qualities and how to know when we are living from our Core Self.  We will draw inspiration from the travelers on the road to Emmaus, who experienced their hearts burning inside as they encountered the risen Christ.

GUIDED MEDITATION:  Connecting with the 8 Cs of the Core Self (12 minutes):

Wednesday, July 12, 2023

“Self-Compassion for Your Ego”

Is it possible to love the parts of you that seem unlovable?  The ego too often gets a bad rap, seen as the enemy preventing you from leading a healthy, fulfilling life.  But what if you could turn this enemy into your greatest ally?  Join us as we provide a fresh look at the ego, seeing it through eyes of compassion and love, and transforming ourselves in the process.

GUIDED MEDITATION:  Getting to Know a Manager as Your Best Friend

Wednesday, August 9, 2023

“Can You Love Your Inner Critic?”

How many of us criticize our inner critic hoping to get rid of it yet only to find it becomes more critical?  Join us as we learn to embrace your inner critic as a catalyst for positive change, nurturing the power of God’s loving presence within you.

GUIDED MEDITATION:  Working with Your Inner Critic

Wednesday, September 13, 2023

“Healthy vs. Unhealthy Spirituality”

How’s your spiritual eyesight? Sometimes it can be difficult to see if an experience is truly coming from God. Meet your “Spiritualizer” – a part of you that puts a religious twist on your thinking under the guise of getting you to do the right things to be closer to God. Think inner critic disguised in God’s voice. Yet this Spiritualizer can often leave you feeling guilt or shame, critical of others, or with a need to be perfect or people pleasing; and ultimately more distant from God. Recognizing the healthy and unhealthy aspects of your spirituality will clear your vision, helping you feel closer to God and bring relief to your well-intentioned but burdened Spiritualizer.

GUIDED MEDITATION:  Working with A Spiritualizer Part

Wednesday, October 11, 2023

“Self-Compassion is More Than Just Being Nice to Yourself”

Contemplative prayer and mindfulness practices are often mistakenly viewed as having an agenda to make you more peaceful by turning you away from your problems. The opposite is true. They have no agenda except to bring you into the present moment. Jim Finley says, “A contemplative practice is any act, habitually entered into with your whole heart, as a way of awakening, deepening, and sustaining a contemplative experience of the inherent holiness of the present moment.” No matter what is happening. Being present, accepting and compassionate toward the blessings you receive and the crosses you bear. Join us as we explore the contemplative path in depth, and how it can help connect to the Core Self and God and bring healing to our burdened parts.

GUIDED MEDITATION:  Slow Down… and Invite Self-Compassion

Wednesday, November 8, 2023

“Gratitude & Healing”

We have all heard of the importance of focusing on gratitude. But did you know that there are healthy and unhealthy ways of experiencing gratitude? And that beyond being a feel-good activity, that it is a core factor in the healing process?  Join us as we identify three do’s and three don’ts in exploring the depths and power of gratitude.

GUIDED MEDITATION:  Gratitude for a Struggling Part of You

Wednesday, December 13, 2023

“Your Internal Heroes: The Body’s 911 System”

because it can sometimes be hard for us to be at our best during the holidays—we will explore those impulsive reactions that can occur for all of us during stressful times. You’ll be invited to get to know Your Internal Heroes: The Body’s 911 System and discover how the Incarnation can help soothe those burdened heroes and bring you peace.

GUIDED MEDITATION:  Connecting with a Firefighter

Retreat: Healing Your Anxious and Depressed Soul
October 21 – 9:00 – 3:30

In Romans, Paul tells us, “The parts of the body that seem to be weaker are the ones we can’t do without. The parts that we think are less important we treat with special honor.” Take a day to slow down and cultivate the capacity to give special honor to those vulnerable parts within you that carry stress, anxiety and depression.

Healing Your Anxious and Depressed Soul will…

• help you connect more deeply with your Imago Dei – your Core Self which is created in the image and likeness of God and is the place from which healing is possible.
• provide a holistic framework for understanding anxiety and depression, including its physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and relational aspects.
• engage you in the Contemplative Internal Family Systems model which integrates the wisdom of contemplative spirituality with the psychological approach of Internal Family Systems (IFS)to safely get to know your anxious and depressed parts.
• offer you three invitations to bring healing to your burdened anxious and depressed parts.

The retreat will include presentations, meditations, and time for personal reflection.