Contemplating marriage?...   Engaged?  
                 ...Or perhaps wishing you were engaged?

 
Taking this next and big step in a relationship requires courage and commitment.  In the past ten years, I have counseled over 1,000 couples preparing for marriage through the marriage preparation programs at several churches, and now bring that expertise to my practice.  As part of the process, I regularly use a inventory called FOCCUS, which stands for Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding & Study.  FOCCUS assesses the core areas that all couples must address in making the commitment to marry, and thus becomes a great conversation starter - both in therapy and for the couple independently. 

Core areas that are discussed include communication and problem solving – the foundational skills used to address all areas of the marriage.  We also look at the "bonders" - the values that can bring a couple closer together or be the hot button points of tension in the marriage.  The bonders include religion, children, in-laws, sex and money (yes, those issues we always hear couples fight about).  Other issues discussed include personality and personal issues, and lifestyle issues (e.g., time, work, managing a home).

Building off the work of FOCCUS, further activities such as creating a marriage vision and developing effective communication tools are additional steps couples can take to build a solid foundation for their marriage.  The goal is not to have every issue resolved prior to the wedding - differences are an inherent part of any relationship, and in fact can provide some spice!  The goal is to have those issues out on the table, so that you feel good about how you will go about dealing with them throughout your marriage.

For couples struggling to make the next step, couples therapy (and possible use of FOCCUS) helps to illuminate just where you are stuck.  Often, it is what has remained unspoken that is keeping the relationship from moving forward.
 

The "Start Right, Stay Connected"  Workshop

A new workshop developed by Imago Relationships International, "Start Right, Stay Connected" is designed to provide couples with a solid foundation as they begin their journey of marriage.  This is a one day workshop, currently which I currently offer along with colleague Mary Kay Cocharo, MFT through St. Monica Church in Santa Monica.
  Topics of the workshop include:

•  Learning powerful communication tools
•  Discovering the journey of marriage
•  Creating a relationship vision
•  Dealing with relationship “hot buttons”
•  Ending all negativity in the relationship
•  Keeping romance alive
•  Experiencing a spiritual connection

 
Click here for the current “Start Right, Stay Connected” workshop flyer for a fuller description, upcoming dates and registration information.

 
 
Please contact me directly via phone or e-mail for further information or to set up an initial consultation.